A Dame in Distress
I knew the instant she walked into my life that this one was going to be different. In a big way. You see, the dame didn’t crawl to me on her hands and knees. She walked with confidence, with only the occasional balance check. God, how I loved an independent woman. She had me sucked in immediately. The tears in her eyes were only the cherry on top.
She was so despondent she could barely speak. Mostly sobs and hand gestures. But I got the gist. Her binky was missing. Gone without a trace. I know what you must be thinking. Big deal, right? She can get a new one. But you shouldn’t discount the sentimental value of the first binky. She’s had it her whole life and her life is in tatters now that it’s gone. Sure, she has dependency issues, but only long term therapy can fix that. What I can do is address the here and now. Find that binky and bring some normalcy back to her life. And I had a pretty good idea where to find it. But I didn’t tell her this. Best let her think I had to work to locate it. That way I could reasonably ensure repeat business.
I led her over to the corner with the squeaky toys so she could keep herself occupied while I set my plan in motion. The first step was always the trickiest. I needed to get out of the room without the Mommy taking notice. I could do it with ease, but if caught in the act, additional security measures may be put in place. And then I’d never get any work done. I took my blanky and flung it over the top of the gate. I learned fast that I’m pretty impressionable. The blanky was for my protection. Without it the marks would last for days rather than minutes. Authorities would be brought in to investigate, and the jig would be up.
I climbed over the top of the gate resting on top of my blanky and lifted the catch. The gate swung open and I was once again free of my prison. I pulled off the blanky and tossed it back into the room. Closing the gate behind me to hide my tracks, I began the long slow walk to the end of the hall. I quickened my pace. Nap time was approaching fast. I thought I was home free when without reason I fell to my hands, stifling a cry. And that’s when She spotted me.
“How in the world do you keep getting out of that room?”
The Mommy picked me up and carried me into the feeding room. She wasn’t alone. There were mommies all around the table. But I didn’t care. The Mommy had me in Her arms and I was in heaven. The smell of Her hair. The rhythm of Her heartbeat. I was trapped in Her spell and I wanted nothing more than to hold onto Her with all of my might.
Too soon I was torn from Her grasp. Passed around the room like a hot bottle. A pinched cheek here. A kiss there. The sensory overload was almost too much to endure. Free of the Mommy’s spell, I realized I only had one last resort if I was going to get back on task. It wouldn’t be pretty. I had no choice.
“Whew, I think the little one has a gift for his mother.”
Yes! Back in Her arms, I was carried to the changing room. The spell didn’t have any effect on me now. What with the load in my pants and all. I know it’s dirty, but sometimes you need to play hardball to succeed. And I’m all about success. The Mommy quickly undid the damage I caused and placed me on the floor while she disposed of the waste. And that’s when I eyed the prize.
There in the dame’s transport was the binky I was working so hard to locate. Quick as a gas bubble I took possession and stuffed it in my catch all. What? I was sanitized. Don’t judge. I do what I have to, to get the job done. And this job was all but done.
The Mommy led me back to the toy depository. By the looks of things, the dame was preparing to leave. I made it just in time. I sidled up beside her, making sure the Mommy’s view was obstructed and produced the found binky. The look on her face was priceless. I get the same way every time I discover an empty box. Her next action was less than satisfactory. She put the binky in her mouth and proceeded to hug me like no tomorrow.
“Aww, that is soooo adorable.”
“To be young again.”
“Looks like we might have a wedding to plan.”
She couldn’t leave fast enough. Cooties, you know?